I don't have the willpower, nor the time, and more importantly, the hunger to become better.
I played my very first game of dota back in 2012. It was a new concept after years of playing warcraft 3 and starcraft 2. Refreshing somewhat. Not having to play the same early game over and over felt amazing. Plus it was a team game. Less stressful overall. And yet it became a chore. Having to play everyday, watch every tournament, to try to get to the top. And yet, I feel like I didn't do enough. What if I tried for real ? What if I left college to play 10hours a day ? It probably wouldn't have changed anything. Maybe a couple hundreds more mmr, but still so far from the top. I am left with regrets, feelings that I didn't try enough, that all the time i spent on that game was wasted. But that would've happened no matter what. The hunger that I've felt earlier is just gone.
go hard or go home