trigger warning: saccharine + lack of caps
you were warned
don't say i didn't warn you
u might get jealous
u might get disgusted at the suggestion that any of this could make u jealous
if you don't like this kind of thing, it's gonna make you cringe hard
and my impression is that most people don't like this kind of thing
wonder what that says about most people
jk im not judgmental u do u boo
i know u can have a love without saying these things
i dont think one way is better than the other
this is just my life
a lot of these things that are said arent literally true but im an autist and i got past that so maybe u can too
i'm pretty sure we're ridiculous outliers for saying some of these things to each other every day...
things anna and i tell each other every day
spontaneously, or following particularly nice moments:
"i love you"
"you're so beautiful"
"you're so sweet"
"i can't believe you're mine"
"i can't believe i'm yours"
"my darling/sweetheart/precious/wife" "(my darling/sweetheart/precious/husband)"
there's other epithets but those are the 4 most common
"will you marry me?" ("of course, i've always wanted to")
"will you be with me forever?" ("forever.")
"you're my everything"
"you make me so happy"
upon one of us waking up or after a period of separation longer than ~20 minutes:
"(you're back!) i missed you" ("i missed you too" "thank you i love you" etc)
spontaneously, or following particularly harrowing moments (not literally every day, thankfully):
"i'm so sorry"
"i'll do better next time"
"it wont happen again"
"i love you"
"can we please just hug?"
"i dont deserve you" ("you do")
"things will get better"
"everything will be wonderful"
"everything is wonderful"
"please believe me"
"i believe you"
"ill always love you"
im working on getting rid of the necessity of this category
eventually it loops back into the nicer ones
we're both really emotional people. we both have lots of issues that can actually make it worse for each other sometimes. at the end of every day though, we still think we can make it, we think can become better people, which i think makes us fundamentally decent people. we want to contribute to the world in our unique ways. we understand each other better than anybody else, and we're still working to understand each other better. we're better together. if you cant stop from judging, that's fine... i admire you for being in such a position to. i'd like to be as good as you. i'm working on it. please believe in me.
+ Show Spoiler +
did you notice how the intro was sensitive to the emotional response of the reader? its because i care deeply for some reason. that's how i am. oversensitivity is not a good thing. most oversensitive people become aware of this at some point. but people who have never known the struggle are so good at hurting us more unnecessarily... so please. don't hurt me. i'm trying to change. i am changing.
it really seems like you put her on a pedestal which is a mistake and not healthy imo
i rly dont put her on a pedestal. the "i dont deserve you" goes both ways sometimes.
she can be as culpable as me for some bad shit that goes down. it's a two way street all the time. sometimes i'm worse though, and sometimes i'm better.
irony is, is one thing that was annoying me through all this is that i felt everyone else was putting her on a pedestal when reading about my problems. just cuz im not spotlighting her problems doesnt mean they aren't there or significant
she would not have married me on pity alone... she's not a saint...
though since she's pretty, people seem predisposed to thinking she is? heh psychology
physical attractiveness is a gift and a curse and people like me who aren't physically attractive can never understand the full effect of being physically attractive. neither can the physically attractive people, even though they know some parts better. it takes two perspectives to actually compare well, and rarely are people both attractive and not attractive. in one regard, men are lucky for having their attractiveness to women depend more on personality and confidence, which isn't as common vice-versa.